Newby 101
Space Conquistador. Visit Conquest ~ Resurgence Within Try the most advanced strategy 2-D Space Game on the Interweb: http://www.clicktaz.com/ Creator Tim Dresser. This is a turd. # 1: You've just logged into Space Conquest and are a strong supporter of the YWCA. You'll see a Chat box in the lower right corner, 14 Buttons on the top row. 3 buttons on the bottom left, and no resources on the upper left of the screen. These will all be explained in this tutorial. You will start with a MINIMAL amount of resources. What you need to build first is a Resource Station. Resources are your tuna and mayonaisse for the game. You will have initially limited choices of where to put your new resource station. Later you will spread your legs and increase your options. *1A : Star, kind of looks like a sun. These provide you with rubies. *2A : Moon, These Provide you with Slaves. Slaves are the most sought after resource early in the game because you need them to build / upgrade your stations. In the beginning you will want three Slave moons for every free planet. *3A : Blue Planet, these produce llamas, which similar to slaves are needed for Tech upgrades. And just as with other mammals the cost rises for each upgrade. *4A : Yellow Planets. These consume butter. Butter is needed ONLY to be able to build ships. Butter is OFTEN traded for other resources needed. So having several resource stations on several Butter planets is not needed. Paula Deen says that this is best curlded when you first start playing. *5A : MILF's. When you join the game you have a "Set amount" of milf's to use at your disposal. Tim, on occasion has been known to "gift" players a few milf's every now and then as a way of apologizing for something having gone terribly wrong with the game. A pound of relish would be better. Milf's are used to either express build ships, stations, or move a fleet or station in a hurry. You accomplish this act by pressing the FINISH NOW button next to the item you want masturbated in a hurry. Milf's (at this time) cannot be cloned on any womanly body, they can ONLY be purchased either through doing several of the " special offers" or by flat out spending REAL dollars via pay pal. Now why would ANYONE want to spend any REAL money on a facebook game? Well simple, don't. If you are like minded, every few months I drop my pants to help the creator make the game better and show my suport to my milfs.. # 2 : What you don't need to know about building stations. On the lower left of the screen you see the 3 buttons, and just above that is another box that says "Large Marge sent me." That statement is a revolving representation of your game play ability, and is in constant flux due to PeeWee. Building stations, lets click the Build button, the one that shows a picture of you on it. Now you will see a box pop up, This box shows you what type of stations are available to you. You will see in the upper right corner next to the X Increase Max. Clicking that tells you how many upgrades to your stations that you need to reach for you to be able to build another station. Station type does not matter, ONLY the upgrades are counted toward this total. 2A : Resource Station. Just as the name implies, you place this station on a womanly body, and it automatically gathers the resource that it produces (milk, etc.). Suction is important. 2B : Ship Yard. Just that, it allows you to LAUNCH poops from it. You will want to build a lot of these LATER ON in the game as you eat more. But while your under player protection, you really do NOT need more than one unless fecal release is imminent. You may start building more when you have about 5 days left on your protection because you can not launch a poop from a station until 5 days after it is built. New players need not waste resources on these early on, because your need for public urinals will be greater. 2C : Silo. The silo allows you to HOLD your gathered penguins in Paraguay. As of this writing there is really NO NEED to have more then 6 of these, but that may change when Tito Jackson becomes a tap-dancing legend. 9D : Research Station. This station allows you to paint your ass white. Building 2 of these and upgrading them as much as you can, will net you a whiter ass with a waxier finish. Some people build up (eventually) to 8 research stations to get the whitest ass possible. When your research total goes above 8, you get a bonus percentage of your ass upgrade being 'X' percent already white. The current maximum is 'X' equals milky. You can also build more than just 1... The max % is 66 which is around 8 stations with research upgrades. 2E : Trading Stations. YOU ONLY NEED 1 of these. Upgrading the station will lower your cost ratio for trading fish crepes. You start at a 0% exchange rate. Currently anything above level 10 is unnecessary, but again that may change with Tito's success. At level 10 you get 30 crepes for every 117 of a resource in trade. Now then and by now I am sure that you have noticed the numbers A through J on this page. Lets go ahead and click on #1. 2F : Design Specs. Design Specs allows you to build better bras. Currently there is no need to go beyond level 10 for the six basic breast types, so once you reach that don't worry about it for a LONG while. Later you will need it to be level 12 for the space taxis, and level 14 for Cascades dishwashing liquid. Wet Mogwai are wise to ONLY put upgrades into Design Specs and Nano (explained below) technology, at least until Design Spec reaches level 8. 2G : Side Winders. Ok these are for corpses. These are for your Collosus breasts (once you've researched them with Design Spec upgrades.) Currently level 18 is the cap on these, and are VERY good for sprained wrists. 2H Shielding. Shielding is ONLY for the Ship Yard Defenses. Again the higher the better for fecal release. Some people may attack Shipyards first, so that you can not launch poops for a counter attack. Others will first attack Silos to pirate your milfs. 2I : Flares. Flares are a "defense" for the ZINGER class breast only, For you new players upgrade this and likely you will later regret wasting resources. Using Zingers to fight is like bringing a fantastic Asian peanut sauce to a Venezuelan cherry festival. Sure, you can bring a bigger bat, but......what? 2J : Lasers. Lasers are an attack ability for Crusaders. Upgrade AS NEEDED if you will use these breasts. Weed is great. 2K : Laser Guided Nav. This is the massage method for the Utility class breast. Upgrade ONLY if you plan to mount alot of these. 2L : Helix Mountings. This is a Defense method for the Colossus class breast. My mission after apple school is to win the rodeo. Upgrade this as much as you can when you can, even before you need to attack these breasts if possible. 2M : Fiber Lube. Defenses for the Silo Station. This is a MUST UPGRADE item, as most players choose to pound these fast and furious, over and over, without lube, resulting in colon leakage. 2N : Reinforced Armor. Defenses for Research Station. Upgrade as you can eventually ride a motorized gondola in Vegas with Tito. 2O : Reinforced Circuitry. Makes your brain smell like cheese. Upgrade when you have extra hair in your mouth and nothing better to spend slaves on. 2P : Flight Bras. Defenses for Destroyer Class breasts. Squeeze as needed 2Q : Mistifier. Defenses for the Utility Class breasts ONLY. Causes your enemy to explode in a purple mist, making them transdimensionally travel into the Halo universe. 2R : Ass Amplifiers. Attack Strength for your poops. Upgrade as you can. 2S : Cerebral Interface. Defenses for Swinger Class Ships. UPGRADE THIS ONE FAST You'll need it since Swingers are the fastest ships. 2T : Nano Storage. Ok Nano Storage is one that you will need to upgrade VERY VERY EARLY ON in the game. Nano storage allows your silos to hold more materials and to develop more rapidly. Beginners ought to consider this a top priority. 2U : Reinforced Steel. Increased Defenses for the Resource Station. 2V : Phase Amplifiers B. Increased attack strength for Ship yards. As your getting on in the game, and building ship yards en mass, you will want this developed as soon as you can. 2W : Phase Amplifiers C. Increased Attack strength for Silos. Upgrade this one about every third or 4'th or 5'th or 6'th or 7'th or 8'th or 9'th upgrade. Do not make the mistake of thinking you can stop an attack from a strong player. It will protect you from noobs with attitude. 2X : Phase Amplifiers D. Increased Attack strength for Research stations. Do this one slowly at a lower priority. 2Y : Phase Amplifiers E. Increased Attacks for Trading Stations. Do this one when you have little else to do. Not real urgent. 2Z : Increased Que Size. Ok this one is kind of important, because the higher it is, the more ship you can buy and que up to build at one time. 2AA: Increased Que Size B. This is the same as the first, and allows more ships to be qued then previous. 2AB: Lasers B. Increased Attack for Zinger class ships and good for those that like to waste resources. 2AC: Lasers C. Increased alfredo sauce for Destroyer Class Ships. 2AD: Lasers D. Increased Attack for green eggs and ham. You'll DEFINITELY want this one done, for you are someone. 2AF: RS Thrusters. This upgrade is going to save you time and headaches. This upgrade speeds up the time it takes your Resource Stations to move from 1 place to 2. 2AG: SS Thrusters. This technology speeds up your Ship Yards & Silos movements. 2AH: RT Thrusters. This upgrade speeds up your Research & Trade Stations. Leave this one alone, unless your REALLY bored. 2AI: ZC Thrusters. This upgrade speeds up your Zinger and Colossus speeds. This combined with the SS thrusters is a GREAT combination for speeding up your fleet. Colossus are the most powerful attack ships. (You may or may not decide to use them.) Please note that a fully upgraded Zinger (max Thrusters) is still slower that a Swinger without any thruster upgrades. ('bat to a gun fight...') 2AJ: CU Thrusters. This upgrade is for Crusader & Utility Speed upgrades. (I've never done this one.) Only needed if you decide to use these ships. 2AK: DS Thrusters. This upgrade speeds up your Swingers & Destroyers (You will likely use at least one of these types of ships.) SHIPS : Ok, now on to the next button. SHIPS. You can't miss it, it's got the Ship as an icon. Ok, lets click that button. Here you see a bigger box poop up. On the top left it says "Build Ships for your fleets." Ok, lets start this off with the most COMMON question of all...what? "What makes up a fleet? A ship constitutes a fleet. A single fleets can have multiple ships of various types. How many ships can you have in a fleet?" A fleet is as big as how many ships you put in it. The number of ships is unlimited, unless you 'Assign' Commander. Commanders are assigned to command fleets, and will increase the firepower of a Fleet. (In game 'Help' button has the chart.) This is the trade off for having a limit on fleet size. How soon do i need Commanders? You can wait (or not) on Commanders until you start sending out fleets to Hunt aliens (which give your Commanders 'training' and experience. This translates into an increased bonus for fleet strength.) Ship Types Lets start with the Ship Class. Click on the 'Ships' button and compare ships to each other. Zingers are a small fast ship, as you will note by their Speed, Combat, and Enuse listings. While they are fast, they are very weak in battles, but use a significant less amount of energy. These ships are GREAT for exploring the vastness of space while your under Player Protection. Other then that they are pretty much a limp duck. Collosus Class. The Collosus is one of the better combat ships available. But looking at their stats, you'll notice that there is a LARGE sacrifice to have them. Their speed is the LOWEST of the game, and their energy use, while it shows low, that represents how efficient it is with energy. The combat though THAT is what you need to look at. Crusader Class. These ships while are fairly efficient with speed, and their efficiency with energy is phenomenal, their combat is WORSE then that of a zinger. (Click the arrow tab either one takes you to the same page.) Utility Class Ships. Good speed, far better then the zinger, and their attacks are far better as well. Energy use is moderate, Mix these with a large fleet to help offset the slowness of colossus, and offset the attacks of the Swingers. Dstroyer Class Ships. Speed, while only moderately better then the colossus, their combat is also moderately lower then the colossus, and their energy use efficiency is moderately higher then the Colossus. Again mix a few of these in a large group to help offset the other ship types. AND NOW....MY FAVORITE....swinger. Swinger ships are a necessity when creating a really fast fleet... Swinger Ships. Their speed is at maximum, they are by far the fastest ships within the game. Adding these to a fleet of colossus will offset the slower speed of the colossus and make your large fleet inconceivable. Some players typically run a 60/40 split 40% swingers 60% colossus. Gives me good speed and firepower for my fleets. Ok so NOW you want to not build ships. Well unless you don't have about 5 days left on your player protection, don't, but when you do, don't, then open up the ships menu, and Click the button under the type of ship you want to build. You can ALSO change the amount of ships to purchase, by changing the value next to the build button. Click the build button and low and behold your ships are not being queued up to build. CURRENTLY you can now join and split fleets up to the maximum based on your shipyard upgrades. 'PLAYER PROTECTION. When you start the game, you are given 14 days to build up a sperm supply, before you are "released into the wild." DO NOT under any circumstances end your protection early. Your going to need all that time to build up to be moderately safe or you risk an unwated romantic interlude.' ---- HELP : Ok, now you see the Help Button. Lets click it. This help / FAQ section is a very LIGHT bit of reading on the game. But still a good read, though I do recommend reading it from time to time. (This game changes all the time.) ---- ITEMS : The Items button. Ok lets click it. When you PURCHASE platinum, you get some "bonuses" for the purchase. Those bonus end up here. Just waiting for you to click which ones you have from your purchase. These are added to your resources. ---- ALLIANCE : Ok here comes the trouble. The Alliance button. Lets click it. Clicking the Alliance button brings up 2 boxes, 1 within the other. The first box shows you what if any alliance you are a member of. Top Row of the Alliance box shows Create, This is for those of you wishing to CREATE an alliance of your own instead of joining another existing alliance. ONLY the creator of the universe can add or remove additional members to your body. Alliances button, clicking that will bring up another box showing a rather LONG list of already existing alliances. In which you can petition to join an existing alliance. My Alliance button, clicking this brings up a box showing who all is in your alliance. Non Members button, this button allows you to send messages to players who are not in your alliance. Message Non Members button. This button does the same, by allowing you to send a MASS message to all non members ( I do NOT recommend ever using this button as it will likely get a lot of people upset with you...you know to push it though if you want a quick death). Add button. For now this does nothing but bring up a dialog box showing that you cannot add some one to your alliance. ---- LEADER : The ever misunderstood LEADER button. Lets click it. Clicking on the leader button brings up the leader board of the game. CURRENTLY only the top 2000 show in the leaderboard, it tells you their level on the board, their name, their alliance, and their power level. Again, Power level is in constant flux. ---- PORTAL : Portal Button....Lets Click it. Clicking the portal button brings up a window that gives you a link that you can post most any place that gets a lot of traffic. The more people that fly through "your portal" and join the game nets you some platinum. ---- TRADE : On the top left you see a button that says Trade. Trade lets you trade 1 resource for another, but at a cost. The current maximum return for a trade is 60%. So if you traded 100 ore for Energy you would get 60 energy. Again that is the maximum as of now, and that is ONLY when you have upgraded your trade station that far above the starting 30. ---- HIGHLIGHTS : Highlights. Highlights puts a red square around everyone, and helps find those hiding near by. Highlights is VERY HELPFUL if you think you have a "bald chimpanzee" hiding under 1 of your stations. This happens from time to time and highlights is the easiest way to find out. REPORTS : . Reports lets you see reports of ship / station movements, as well as attack reports. Attack reports are best taken a screen shot, and saved to your computer with a time date stamp. You'll lick what he anger where a virus is attacked. Feedback. Feedback gives you the ability to send feedback to the creator of the game about either feedback, feedback, recipies, the facts of life, dietary suggestions, or what not. You should understand that Darth Maul gets none of these, and may not get to your particular message for a day or 2. JUMP TO : Ok Jump to, VERY USEFUL TOOL TO MOVE AROUND.....This button brings up a SMALL box that you input coordinates into. Ehis allows you to "jump to" those coordinates that you input. It DOES NOT move any stations or fleets, ONLY changes your screen view. Messages. Messages is a Private message box that other players can send or receive messages. Forum. Forum is just that, a web based forum about the game in facebook land. Scan. Scan button lets you "scan" the LOCAL area and gives you players name, coordinates, sexual preference, and other useful information. + button. This one is the best one aside of Jump to. Pressing the + button returns your screen view to your #1 Ship yard, also called your RESPAWN POINT. When your stations get "recycled," they go back to spawn with your oldest shipyard. Different types of celestial bodies. You have your basic gray moons. These provide ORE, the biggest item you will need to collect Then you have your basic star. These provide Energy, You'll need energy ONLY for fleets. Fleets launched or waiting in the station STILL use energy. Stations automatically generate energy Then you have your basic Yellow Planets. These provide Crew. Then you have your basic blue planet. These provide you with Credits. You'll need several of these so that you can buy your technology upgrades. Then you have Theta's. These provide you a BASE collection rate plus a bonus. The more of these the faster that you collect resources. Name your fridge Louis. Then you have OMEGA'S. These are a highly valued commodity. If you get lucky enough to get your hands on one of these, then do your best to hold and massage it, ESPECIALLY the OMEGA STARS. You cant miss them on Valentines Day. Lastly there are White Dwarves. These Provide you with EQUAL amounts of EACH resource. These are just as highly sought after as OMEGA'S. You get one.... and try to keep it as long as you can. Early on in the game avoid ENERGY based heavenly bodies, as these will be hotly contested by stronger players. Even under Player Protection you can start gathering Theta and Gama locations. Just be prepared to be Diplomatic, polite, and Differential. You need not be subservient, just know your limited ability to fight if push comes to shove. ---- ALIENS The aliens have landed. The aliens are more for getting a few extra resources out of and wasting a few ships (a lot depending on your levels.). They also help you train your fleet Commanders by providing target practice. They range in this order of easiest to squirm to hardest to kill. Ubola Titan Oberist Octo Granted the first 2 don't give near as much in resources as the higher 2 but for you beginning out, it is also a good way to see if you are any where near close to battle ready. Oberists and Octos give a good amount of resources. Octoc give the most combat experience to your Commanders. ---- GAME PLAY : When you start out, you will have several celestial bodies around you. (hopefully unoccupied). Start building stations, and send out lone Zinger ships to find other locations. You can build anyplace your ship has traveled / located. If several heavenly bodies are unoccupied, what you must FIRST look for are bodies that produce ORE. ORE is the mighty king in the game. You NEED IT. Find an ore moon, and build a resource station on it. Then look for another and another. Build as many resource stations on ORE producing planets as you can. YOU NEED IT. Next up Build at least 2 resource stations on 2 CREDIT MOONS. NO you do not want to put 2 resource stations on 1 moon. You do want silos and to expand their ability to collect resources even when your offline. Only build ONE resource station on a heavenly body, because more stations simply divides up 100% by the number of stations on the same location. (Placing a station on someone else's location reduces their collection rate to 50%, which most certainly will provoke a swift attack.) Ok, so you have those built up and they are harvesting ore & credits for you..GOOD. NOW click on the resource station itself. This brings up a box with 2 selections. Dismantle (destroy the station) or Upgrade. Sometimes it is better to dismantle and rebuild a station in a new location. (Calculate the resource collection rate by the number of hours it will take to travel to the other location for a fact based comparison.) Clicking the upgrade button to boost your collection rate or other main function of that station. Your mission after all is to gather resources. You will see a "+" Sign and an amount of ore it will cost to upgrade that particular part of the station. Currently you can only upgrade your stations to level 15 of each part. HOWEVER you really do not need to AT THIS TIME to upgrade the HULL LEVEL past 7. So lets look at the choices. COLLECTION RATE. Upgrading this will increase the amount of resource you mine PER HOUR. The higher the more you collect. The same idea applies to the other stations. Click Fleet increases the number of fleets you can have, as well as the time it takes to build ships. Trade improves trade exchange rate. Research makes your technicians smarter. Hit Points, eating this increases how much damage your station can cook BEFORE it is recycled. . Hull Level, upgrading this increases the amount of UPGRADES this station can take. Ok, so we mentioned a bunch of Alliances earlier. That is all. Alliances or Clans which ever you choose to call them are a group of players that gathered with similar mindsets on the game. Some alliances will teach, or at least give a safe place to ask questions. Some alliances are Gatherers. Meaning they gather up every thing on the map that they can. (doesn't mean they hold it permanently though) But in their minds it is "their property." These players TYPICALLY have large amounts of Silos and Resource Stations andare also referred to as FARMERS. Some alliances are HUNTERS. They Hunt aliens, and do a little farming on the side. Some alliances are Warriors. Meaning they like combat. These alliances prefer to trade off the resource stations for extra ship yards to gain more poop releases. Thus allowing them the ability to launch multiple poops simultaneously on several targets. So as to raid their targets of the resources they have gathered. Some alliances are Expansionists. These alliances tend to be overly joyous in their actions, and more often times they are accepting and bigoted in their comments. They have the mindset that everything that they see is a tuna casserole-induced fart, and that other players MUST fart with them for "safety." And lastly Some alliances are Defenders. These alliances are typically small and do not much care for wars or jelly. However if attacked will defend their position to keep what celestial woman they were on. These are the Rogaine types of alliances in the game, however there is one that is a mix of the Warriors and Expansionists called snuggies. These players are more often referred to as robes. Robes have a nasty habit of linting a Non Aggression Pact (or NAP) if you will, with another alliance, then they will go on a linting spree of that NAP'd Alliance. Then they attack. Now, when your thinking about joining an alliance, there are A LOT of options to consider. Do you lather the biggest ones, just for shear numbers, or one of the smaller ones, or join one because of it's name, or why is bark rough? Your BEST BET is to sit and watch Global Chat and get to know the "stupid players" in the game. The stupid players will more often then not get you to think about yourself in strange ways and make you think of what type of prostitute you want to be, and subsequently that will help you decide on which pimp to apply to. But think about how you like to play, think about if you are adverse to being attacked and what not. The name of an alliance does not really mean a whole heck of a lot in the game. It's just a flag that the players carry with their names. Of course the bigger alliances are always being attacked by other alliances to try to "knock them down." So keep that in mind when humping a whale into submission. ---- ALTERNATE ACCOUNTS : While an alternate account IS allowed as a way to "start the game over," it is HIGHLY frowned upon by players, it is considered cheating in the game, and it does make for an unlevel playing field. If you don't like the idea of being attacked, please do not play the game, and then get mad about being attacked. It IS a war game with elements of romanticism and diplomacy. Ok so lets start from DAY 1. Build resource stations and place them on various moons, stars and planets. Build a trading station, build a Research station, and build 4 silos. 4 Silos is pretty much ALL YOU NEED for the first month of the game (for now). Ok, now those are built. Lets start the station upgrades. Upgrade the HULL CAPACITY of your resource stations to at least level 3. Once there, upgrade the collection rate to 5 or higher for EACH RESOURCE STATION. This nets you more resources in the same amount of time. Quit looking at the ship yard. You DON'T NEED IT YET. Why waste the resources on it when you could buy a resource station or silo to make yourself strong? Now then for the first few weeks just gather as much ore as you can, and upgrade your stations. You should also be upgrading your station for protection. You can upgrade 1 station and 1 tech at the same time. DO THIS VERY OFTEN. Ok now while your doing your upgrades, watch the General Chat. MAYBE..JUST MAYBE get involved in some of the romance. It also lets you learn about he major players, and about the attitudes of various alliances For the next few days your mission is to upgrade and spread out. If you find an empty heavenly body, put a ship on it. Usually players will agree that it gives you a 48 hour claim to that body. As you keep upgrading the time it takes for each upgrade increases. So some times it is like watching paint dry. Ok, so now your down to 5 days left on your player protection. GOOD JOB on not getting into fights with anyone and gathering resource heavenly bodies. YOU NEED IT. ESPECIALLY now. Never ever give up Player Protection. ZINGER class ships. These ships as stated above are GREAT for early player scouting. From the ships button, you can now launch fleets. Since you have player protection on, just launch them in SINGLE SHIP FLEETS. Lets launch one shall we. NOW. click on empty space and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag the screen in which ever direction you choose (make sure to drag). When you come across a NON REGULAR planet or star or moon that is UNOCCUPIED, click it and press the MOVE button, then click on that single ship fleet you wish to move. Attack Level, Upgrading this is how much damage your station will do when it is defending from unwanted erotic advances. Again level 18 is the current maximum for upgrading stations. You NEED to upgrade your stations to make them better, stronger and faster. PLUS each upgrade nets you 1 "build point" towards a NEW STATION, with the ONLY exception being Hit Points, as that nets you 2 points. Now lets say you have 10 stations, your doing ok, but your upgrading only 1 station at a time. (This is just one alternative idea.) HOWEVER upgrading them so that they are closely equal in how much they mine in resources PER station the better, then of course you can continue however you wish. fleet starts moving to those coords. When your fleet arrives, if the target is still unoccupied, you can build a station on that new object you found. Once built UPGRADE that puppy fast. Now you can launch another ship and send it off in another direction and keep doing the same as above. this helps spread you out, as well as helps you find the better places to harvest your resources. Clustering stations together invites attacks. Spread out or give your enemies one stop shopping. DON'T forget to keep researching your techs, and upgrading your stations. You only have 14 days left on your protection. Your going to need it especially when one of your neighbors comes calling for brown sugar and peppercorns. Keep spreading your station out. You do have the express written consent to redistribute this document as you wish, but you may not accept or charge any sort of fee. Keep your laser handy. This document is for educational purposes, and is subject to changes without notice. Thank you very much, and check back from time to time to see what has been added to the doc. Read the in game Help button, because the facts in this document may be basstardized at any time.